


Family + Mac + Jack + Heart

by NatalieRyan



Series: Worries of a father and son [3]
Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: AU, Angst, Collab, Father and Son Relationship, Feels, Gen, I don't know how to tag this halp, Jack as Mac's father, a follow up to the follow up, the one where thistle and I merged
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:22:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27551482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NatalieRyan/pseuds/NatalieRyan
Summary: My finger slipped. Around 3.8k times. Whoops.So the story about this story is a bit long, but to shorten it (or otherwise the note will be very looong), a few months ago I got an idea about an AU where Jack was Mac's father. Like his biological father. And when I shared the idea with SabbyStarlight, I didn't know what I was going to do with it, yet. My mind completely blanked that I read Thistle's story as well, so reading it again led to two things:A) We had eerily similar ideas, that we keep learning as we discuss this 'verse every time we talk about itB) That we merged and we decided to play it as a collab and see where it'll lead us.This is a little follow up to her follow up of the first story that she wrote for one of Comfortember's prompts. I was inspired and believe it or not 90% from this story was written even before I read the second one. Needless to say, it was something I needed to get out of my system.Hope you won't hate me because boy, oh boy, I've been surfing on this Jack angst wave for almost three weeks now (if you couldn't tell by now).Thanks Thistle for the support, for the talks we had about this wonderful idea (still can't wrap my head around the fact that we had THAT MUCH similar ideas about this AU). Thanks for the beta as well. If there are any mistakes left, they are mine.Without further ado, *yeets another fic into the void*. Aka the one where N1ghshsde and I merged.
Relationships: Jack Dalton & Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)
Series: Worries of a father and son [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2009104
Comments: 19
Kudos: 59





	Family + Mac + Jack + Heart

**Author's Note:**

> My finger slipped. Around 3.8k times. Whoops. 
> 
> So the story about this story is a bit long, but to shorten it (or otherwise the note will be very looong), a few months ago I got an idea about an AU where Jack was Mac's father. Like his biological father. And when I shared the idea with SabbyStarlight, I didn't know what I was going to do with it, yet. My mind completely blanked that I read Thistle's story as well, so reading it again led to two things: 
> 
> A) We had eerily similar ideas, that we keep learning as we discuss this 'verse every time we talk about it 
> 
> B) That we merged and we decided to play it as a collab and see where it'll lead us. 
> 
> This is a little follow up to her follow up of the first story that she wrote for one of Comfortember's prompts. I was inspired and believe it or not 90% from this story was written even before I read the second one. Needless to say, it was something I needed to get out of my system. 
> 
> Hope you won't hate me because boy, oh boy, I've been surfing on this Jack angst wave for almost three weeks now (if you couldn't tell by now). 
> 
> Thanks Thistle for the support, for the talks we had about this wonderful idea (still can't wrap my head around the fact that we had THAT MUCH similar ideas about this AU). Thanks for the beta as well. If there are any mistakes left, they are mine. 
> 
> Without further ado, *yeets another fic into the void*. Aka the one where N1ghshsde and I merged.

"Hey, Matty." 

"Yes, Jack." 

"Um, there's something I need to take care of. Could you maybe give me a few days off?" 

There was a pause on the other end of the line and Jack wondered if she heard his despair or the guilt, maybe even the disappointment. 

"Sure, Jack. What do you need them for?" 

"It's something personal, and I can't tell you right now. Not without betraying his trust... at least if he still trusts me and wants me around." 

"Who? Mac?"

Jack hummed, unable to utter a word, the realization slamming right into him. He would have never told anyone if that made Mac happy, he wouldn't do that without Mac giving the green light for Jack to share that information. If that ever happened, Jack would be the happiest to tell everyone he had a son, an amazing son who he wished he'd met when he was a baby. Jack wished Mac never had to go through any hardship in life, because Jack would have rather died himself before he left Mac like James did. 

Jack was aware that he was as far from dad material as he could get, he was a monster at times for the job, with a shitload of PTSD to go, he never had the guarantee that he would come home in one piece, let alone come home at all. But if he had to choose, he would have always chosen Mac. That kid was far too important to him even before Jack learned he was Mac’s actual father. Jack couldn't fathom the thought of not having Mac around in his life, in any capacity. That was, if Mac still wanted him around. 

Jack was aware of Matty trying to get him to answer her questions, she was worried, although she masked it well. Jack closed his eyes, willing his tears to wait, because if he got crying with Matty still on the phone, he risked his stupid old heart giving out and him telling her everything. 

It wasn't his story to tell, and Jack was better than emotionally blurting things. But he was at the end of his rope, the frayed edges were barely strong enough to hold him, and Jack was ready to let himself fall, because he was so damn tired, his soul was in pain. 

Mac would call that "Jack's flair for the dramatic", but was it dramatic when your world was turned upside down and you were left gasping for air, holding yourself on the last straw of hope that your only kid, your son, would eventually decide if he still wanted you in his life? 

Jack could take everything life dished out to him, he would have taken the worst torture possible if it meant he'd get to keep Mac in his life, that Mac would want to stay. Granted, Jack wasn't a good person, and had no right to ask for it, but this once, he wanted to be selfish. 

"Jack? What's going on? Answer me, damn it." 

"It's something I really can't tell you about, Matty. I just... I'm tired and I need- hell I don't even know what I need. But my head is not in the right place, and please, I beg you. I need this time off. You know I wouldn't ask unless it was important."

"Okay, Jack. Okay. Take as much time as you need. I'll deal with Oversight." 

Jack blanched at the name, Oversight was the last one Jack needed to know about this, but he couldn't pick his fights when he worked for the very man that until recently he knew as Mac's father. The one that they spent years searching and he was under their noses that whole time. The one incapable of loving Mac, that sweet kid that didn't deserve to be abandoned, left like something was wrong with him, like he was spoiled just because he was another man's kid. 

Jack sighed. There was so much to unpack, he was reeling. 

"Thanks, Matty." 

Jack hung up before she could ask him more questions and then turned his phone off. He knew that come morning everyone would want to know where he was, if he was okay, but in all reality, Jack wasn't ready for any of that. He just wanted to forget for a few hours, before he was reminded of his failures and the punishment he got for always trying to do what was best for everyone and failing himself and the kid he loved more than his life in the process. 

...

"Hey, where is Jack?" Bozer asked when it was way past their briefing time and both Jack, and Matty were late. Mac was lounging in one of the leather chairs, glaring a hole in the wall. 

"I have no idea." Mac replied with almost a growl and Bozer recoiled. Mac sounded so... off, that he had no idea what was wrong, but something was definitely going on between these two. 

"Seriously? That's a first. You two are practically attached-" 

"Jack is a grown man, Boze. He can do whatever he wants to, and frankly, I don't care." 

Bozer wanted to scream. In the years since he met Jack, Bozer never in a million years would have guessed Mac would act like this about him, to be so indifferent, blank stare and all. Both of them were inseparable and Bozer was jealous of that bond, and he knew even Riley was, too, at one point, but once they realized that the bond between Mac and Jack didn't exclude them from caring about Riley and Bozer respectively, Bozer was a big fan of Jack. Jack understood Mac like no one else did, and always chose Mac first. He stayed, and Bozer's respect for that was even bigger, because no one was willing to stick around long enough. They all left. And it led to Mac having a whole lot of trust and abandonment issues. 

So, to see Mac act like he didn't care, it threw Bozer off his game. He sent Jack several messages by now, even tried to call him, but it sent Bozer to voicemail. Bozer was getting worried by the minute, and it unnerved him that Mac was just sitting around and not doing the same. He'd seen Mac worried out of his mind for Jack and called him just to realize Jack was stuck in traffic and hadn't received his new phone, yet, after Mac converted it into something else. But this was even scarier. And Bozer was really starting to get scared how devoid of emotions Mac was about the lack of Jack's presence. 

Matty chose that moment to get into the War Room, and Bozer expected Jack to be right behind her, maybe she was the one that kept him away from showing up on time. But Jack didn't come through the door. 

Bozer looked at Riley and could see the same questions and worry that he felt, but he schooled his features and tried to seem nonchalant about it. 

"Sorry for being late, I had to file some paperwork and then I had a meeting with Oversight. I gathered you all here to tell you that starting from today, Jack is on indefinite leave, and barring any problems, I should have a temporary Overwatch for you all in a few hours. Since we have no active missions or ones that require our help at the moment, Mac, you and Bozer will be working in the lab. Riley, you and Jill will get your assignments shortly, I need you two to run some surveillance on an op for one of our other teams." 

As Matty droned on about their temporary situation, Bozer tried to act cool, but he was definitely rattled. The way Matty pointedly looked at Mac when she told them about Jack's leave, it left no doubt in Bozer that there was something going on between Mac and Jack.

… 

Jack expected someone to come and start banging on his door on the first day of his self imposed purgatory. Not that he wanted to have anyone around, but his heart clenched when no one showed up. He tried not to think too much of it, he was actually the one that fled his problems, the one who was hiding in his apartment, but Jack couldn't allow anyone to suffer because of his lack of concentration and focus in the field. He was finally reaching his limit, and he didn't want to have to dream of any of his teammates dying while he failed to do his job, being distracted by the fact that he was Mac's biological father. 

On day two, Jack was ready to crawl out of his skin. He really started to get into his head, and realized that maybe he wasn't as important to them, as they were to him. Or maybe Matty was keeping them away, trying to give Jack space. Perhaps it was Oversight, not Jack's biggest fan, and certainly the man with enough power to keep people away from asking questions. 

Jack knew that he was being irrational, but he did kinda cut ties abruptly with everyone. He wouldn't blame them if they decided it was too much of a bother to try and check on him. Again, not that he wanted to. He didn't do this for pity or sympathy. 

On day three, Jack turned his phone on. There were numerous messages and voicemails from Bozer, several from Riley and one from his mom. Jack cried for almost two hours before he turned his phone off again. His mom always knew when Jack was having a hard time, always sending him little messages to let him know she was there for him, that he should give her a call or maybe visit if he had the time. It was that message that got him to cry, the fact that he wanted to call her and tell her that he had a kid, that she already knew him and loved him as her own grandson and Jack knew she would be ecstatic to learn about that fact. Only he couldn't tell her. He had his own cross to bear, about his life choices, or the lack thereof twenty-nine years ago, and although he knew his mom wouldn't judge and tell him that Jack didn't do anything wrong other than fall in love with someone and the fruit of their love turned into someone with unfortunate life events happening to him. 

Jack kept replaying his conversation with Mac in his head, knowing Mac was right, Jack knew that too. He should have tried to look for Ellen harder, he should have done something, even though realistically if Ellen didn't want to be found, there was nothing Jack could have done about it. 

On day four, Jack gathered the strength he didn't possess and he sent Bozer and Riley messages, to let them know he was okay and that he needed some time to think and clear his head. He hoped he wouldn't worry them further, he hated when he was the source of pain for his kids. 

He sent a message to his mom saying that the visit to Texas could happen soon. Jack didn't have the ability to get out of bed for more than going to the bathroom, and forcing himself to eat, but he hoped that in a few days if he was in the right mindset, he could hop on a plane and go home. 

Jack's heart twisted in pain at the thought of home and what it meant. If Mac didn't want him around, this could have very well been the last time he was ever going to feel at home. His home was currently not talking to him. 

On day five, Mac showed up on his doorstep. 

… 

Mac didn't know what to do with his hands. He had a few paperclips in his jacket's pocket, Jack's jacket, his brain helpfully supplied, but he couldn't bring himself to pick them up and twist them into shapes. He was jittery and nervous, he was on his third cup of coffee since he woke up and he had no idea what he was doing until he was in his Jeep and it seemed the car was driving itself and he was in front of Jack's apartment. 

He stayed in the car for a good hour, contemplating his choices and his reaction. While it was expected, and normal, Mac wasn't going to tell himself it wasn't, because he was grieving for things old and new, he was still harsh to Jack. He treated his partner, his best friend, his father (Mac still couldn't wrap his mind around that fact) like Jack was hiding things on purpose. Like Jack lied to him willingly, when Mac knew that Jack wouldn't do that. He wasn't that cruel, and Mac couldn't forget the way Jack just shut down when Mac started yelling and screaming at him. 

Jack couldn't have known he had a son, that whatever happened between him and Mac's mom was strong enough for his mom to decide to keep him despite marrying someone else apparently (and lots of things started making sense, mainly the way James always saw him and the way James treated him). 

Mac replaced the broken glass from the frame, and his mom's picture was put on display again. Also a painful reminder of what transpired on the deck just several days ago. 

Five days. Mac kept count. Five days since he broke down in Jack's arms, screamed at Jack, accused him of abandoning his mom and therefore him. Five days since he saw Jack with tears in his eyes and a broken heart drive off and then there was that ridiculous request for a leave... Mac knew that he fucked up. He knew that one day he would drive Jack away. That Jack would leave him, too. Despite what they both learned only recently, Mac didn't hold hope for Jack staying. 

If it was another situation, Mac would have stayed away. He learned the hard way that going after people, asking for their reasons and trying to make amends backfired spectacularly. But in this case, Mac wanted to try, because this meant too much to him not to. He just hoped Jack would be up to hear him out and forgive him. Mac knew he didn't deserve forgiveness, but he wasn't above begging for it. He deserved Jack saying no, saying he didn't want Mac around. Mac had to try one last time before he lost Jack for good. 

Mac swallowed the lump in his throat at the sight of Jack when he opened the door. Mac had no idea if Jack was actually around. Right before the door opened Mac realized that Jack could have very well gone to Texas, or worse, done something to himself and that Mac was going to be too late to stop it. Jack never struck Mac as the type of a person who would harm himself on purpose, but also Jack had so many years of PTSD piling up, and with the recent infodump and load of emotions that the world just sprung on him... Mac couldn't be too sure. 

Jack looked worse for wear with his hair disheveled and bags under his eyes that told Mac just how tired Jack was. He looked at Mac with a mix of hope and dread and Mac wanted to kick himself for putting that look in Jack's eyes. 

"Hey." 

"Hey." 

"Can I come in?" 

Jack moved to the side and after Mac got inside the apartment, he closed the door and punched the alarm code. That set, Jack moved to the couch, Mac deciding to follow. Once he was sitting down, Mac took a good look around the living room. In all honesty, he expected a mess. But the apartment was surprisingly clean. Mac didn't know if he should have worried more about that or to be glad that Jack at least took care of himself since Mac saw him last.

Mac didn't want to circle around the issue at hand, preferring to get straight to the point. 

"I have to talk to you. About... my mom and you. About all of it." 

Jack looked like deer caught in the headlights, mouth opening and closing, and Mac thought that he made a mistake or that it was too soon, but then he saw Jack relax minutely. 

"Okay." 

"First, I want to apologize. I didn't mean to act like that. Certainly not accuse you of something you couldn't have known. One thing that grandpa always told me about mom is that once she had made up her mind about something, there was nothing that could have changed her mind. 

"I'm not saying she didn't want to be with you, or even loved you, but she must have had a good reason, at least by her standards." 

"She probably did. I wish I had tried harder. She meant too much to me to not do that. But..." 

"I know. I had a lot of free time to think about it, and I wish things went differently, but they aren't. It's not something you can just go back to and flip a switch and restore the timeline." 

"I'm so sorry." 

"Don't be. You of all should be the last one to apologize. You never meant for any of this to happen. And if I know you well... Hoping I actually know you as well as I think," Mac took a deep breath. "You are nothing short of caring and loving. You would have burned bridges for me before all of this. Now, I think that you may up the level a notch." 

"No need to do that actually. I'd do everything for you, Mac. I would have before, I would now, too. Nothing's changed in that regard. I've seen you as my son for years now, although God knows I don't deserve you." 

"What?" 

"You are too good for this world for me to want to have that connection to you, hoss. Even before, I felt like a selfish bastard for wanting to, dunno, keep you close to me, keep you safe."

"What if I choose to let you stay in my life? It's not selfish, Jack. In fact, I want you to stay in my life. If anyone is selfish then that's me. I've forever wanted for someone to stay. I always thought that you wouldn't either. Not your fault, you did plenty of convincing and your actions speak for themselves. But it's a tough habit to break when everyone leaves eventually." 

Mac exhaled and looked up. Jack was watching him with an odd look in his eyes that Mac couldn't decipher, his lips pursed in thought. 

"I wish I was there to show you that you were, and are worth staying for, kid. I can't tell what had gotten into James, or anyone else, but they were all wrong."

"Well, we can guess what had gotten into James." Mac tried for lighthearted, but it came out bitter and it brought back their current predicament. 

"Listen, Mac, I-" 

"Jack, I-" 

They both spoke at the same time and chuckled, the tension still obvious, but Mac could feel a small change in the air. 

"You go first." Mac spoke up. 

"Are you sure?" 

"Positive." 

Mac could see Jack gearing up for something. 

"I know that I'm not much better than James. No matter how you look at it, I was the first one leaving you, buddy. Granted, I didn't know you existed till about seven years ago, but still, the more I think about it, the more it weighs on me. And it just hit me now, how my actions these last few days might have looked like. I'm not trying to, I can't even fathom leaving ya', ever. But you were pretty pissed off and sad and I didn't want you to have the reminder every day. At least until you decided on what you wanted to do. I could never leave you. Not willingly at least. But if that was what you wanted... then I'd respect your wishes. Anything for you." 

Jack was smiling and Mac could see it was an honest smile. But Mac also saw the way Jack tried to hide the hurt in his eyes and on his face at the prospect of being away from Mac. Mac recognized it, because the same look was on his face as well, the same feeling of dread and cold encompassing him. 

Jack was willing to sacrifice his needs for Mac, again, without thinking and Mac was hit with how much Jack loved him. Putting his own needs to the backburner just so Mac had his own needs met and fulfilled. 

So selfless and honest, the father Mac wished he had. Now he actually got his wish granted. He finally got the father he wanted. And he almost blew it by keeping Jack at arm's length, pushing him away. 

"I want you to stay. I want us to try and see where this thing leads. I can't promise I'll be the most patient and tolerant, but you know me. I'll give my best. I want things to go back the way they were. Realistically, I know they can't, but I need that semblance of normalcy. And I'm not saying this lightly. I've been thinking about it. There's so much to unpack, but for starters, I'd love it if you stayed."

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be, s- Mac. I'm sorry if I scared you when I took the leave. I never meant to do that. I just..." 

"You don't have to explain, I understand. It's okay... dad." 

...

Jack thought that his heart was going to burst from happiness. He opened his arms in invitation, wanting to convey his feelings in something he was very good at. Offering comfort with a hug, with his touch, that was Jack's thing. 

Holding Mac in his embrace, Jack relished in the weight of his son's body between his arms, the way Mac's head just fit in the junction between chin and neck and how relaxed and safe Mac must have felt to stay there and let Jack hold him. 

Jack closed his eyes at the onslaught of emotions, thinking of all the times in the past where he could have been there for Mac. The first smile, the first tooth, the first step. Just coming home, opening the door and being tackled by this tiny human that after seeing some pictures Jack knew he would have fit in his embrace just as much as his adult version did. The day Mac decided he was going to MIT...

So many moments. 

And Jack knew that if it came to it, he would have quit his job in a heartbeat to take care of Mac. Mac came first and foremost. 

_ Guess it wasn't that much different than the last seven years of his life. _

"I love you so much, kid. So much. Son. My son."

"Me too, Jack."

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts?


End file.
